One of the reasons cited that the Cayman Islands is a popular relocation destination for Commonwealth candidates is that it is an English speaking country. Or so you might think!
I’m fascinated by the idiosyncrasies of regional dialects. Some may allege that this is because I am a pedant by nature. It’s true, imperfections irritate me. But I guess, when it comes to language, one man’s fish is another man’s poisson.
The Cayman Islands is a cultural mishmash combining elements of British, American and other Caribbean cultures, as well as, of course, some uniquely Caymanian traditions. Never is this eclecticism more in evidence than in the language.
If you are a Brit, you may mistakenly believe, as I once did, that you speak the same language as Americans, Canadians or even Jamaicans. If you think that then it can only because you have never spent a great deal of time in the company of either. Don’t hold your first meeting with a group of either nationality in a strong wind. If it changes direction, chances are you will spend the rest of your life looking like Lee Evans. 
The American dialect in particular contains a number of pitfalls for the uninitiated. I recall with some fondness the time, when dining out for lunch with new colleagues a week after starting at KPMG in Cayman, I mistakenly ordered both an “entrée” and a main course. Imagine my surprise and embarrassment to find that I had ordered two main courses. I only narrowly escaped being the John Prescott (shudder) of Cayman: Two Meals McIntosh. “Entrée” (meaning “starter” in the UK) means main course in the States. A starter in the States is an “appetizer”. The menu in this particular restaurant did not help by having both “entrées” and “main courses” and the waiter apparently didn’t think it at all odd that someone would order two meals. I guess I must have looked really, really hungry. Or more likely, capable of consuming it.
And this is the mere tip of the iceberg. Try walking into a shop and asking for a pack of tissues. For one thing it wouldn’t be a shop at all, it would be a store (shop is strictly a verb in the States, and boy is it) and for another it would be “Kleenex”.
Asking for cigarettes? If you’re buying “20 Marlboros” you better take your credit card, a sturdy bag and a Ventolin, because you’ve just bought 400 cigarettes. The correct parlance would be “a pack of Marlboros”, because cigarettes are never ever sold in tens in the States. [If my wife is reading this I only know because a friend told me].
And while we’re on the subject, under no circumstances, should a Brit ever ask for “fags”. Especially if you are in Vegas. Or San Francisco. Or Alabama.
I’ll be keeping an occasional “side-blog” on such diabolical dialectical dichotomy. I’d also encourage readers to share their own experiences with translations, frustrations and gaffs communicating in or with those other nations that claim to speak the English language, in the comments section.
Of course, Robin Williams once said “If you want a linguistic adventure, go drinking with a Scotsman”. Who am I to talk?